Kids in a dangerous web “Parents must not choose the easy way out”

“NASK established Dyzurnet.pl in response to the growing distribution of materials depicting child sexual abuse. This is the reason why this theme will always prevail in our statistics. But let me draw your attention to the real stories experienced by those who report incidents. When sensitive intimate material (erotic or pornographic) concerning an individual leaks onto the internet as a result of blackmail or carelessness, it becomes available to friends, including colleagues or fellow students. Other users may engage in further abuse in the form of vulgar comments, harassment or, if the individual’s personal data is known, even direct contact,” says Martyna Różycka.

Minors create intimate content

The Dyzurnet.pl team receives about a thousand notifications a month, of which about 15% are confirmed as illegal content that actually depicts child sexual abuse. “We are concerned to see that content showing minors in a sexual or erotic context is increasingly self-produced,” says Różycka. What does that mean?

Imagine that an erotic photo is taken and sent by minors who either are in a romantic relationship or want to establish one. According to Różycka, such photos or videos are also sometimes sent to strangers or published in widely accessible profiles, either voluntarily or under duress. Such materials may be obtained by deceit, acquired under duress or produced in imitation of adult behaviour without understanding the whole situational context and its possible consequences.

“Our lives, including our intimate relations, have moved online, and the pandemic has accelerated this process. People who want to meet others and establish intimate relations increasingly go online for this purpose. This is facilitated by the availability of dedicated trendy applications, constraints on social life, as well as cultural changes, difficulties in establishing face-to-face relationships and constraints on real-life situations where young people can make new friends,” explains the expert.

The problem of risky online contacts with strangers also affects younger children. This practice is known as child grooming. “These efforts are mostly aimed at obtaining pornographic material from children, but such contacts sometimes also lead to offline encounters and attempts at sexual abuse. This is why we need to teach children to approach people they meet online cautiously, and discuss the threats related to kids,” emphasises Łukasz Wojtasik, an expert on online security for children and youth from the Dajemy Dzieciom Siłę Foundation. He also notes that things that may seem obvious to adults are not necessarily so clear to minors. Research has shown that parents set rules on online contacts with strangers only in one in five homes where children use the internet, even though such rules are absolutely fundamental.

Screen time restrictions at home

Martyna Różycka reflects on the consequences of the pandemic for young people, although she stresses that the effects will need to be analysed for many years to come. On the one hand, we have seen a surge in new digital skills as schools and businesses experience a digital transition. On the other hand, parents seem to have retreated from setting screen time limits since phone calls and computers became the only channel of communication, and a way to participate in school classes.

“It became impractical to enforce restrictions because other leisure activities were significantly constrained and access to previous leisure activities was limited, so caregivers did not monitor how much time their kids spent in front of screens. Unfortunately, this is only one step away from problematic use of the internet, mobile devices and computers. Digital detox is also very difficult: it is feasible for people to give up stimulating substances but it is almost impossible to quit technology,” remarks the Dyzurnet.pl team manager.

Łukasz Wojtasik explains that the two main signs indicating that a child may be addicted to the internet include a loss of control over the amount of time they spend online and problems getting away from the screen. This is coupled with the negative impact that online time may have on the child’s life, e.g. on relations at home or with peers, or abandonment of offline hobbies. The good news is that computer addiction among children can be prevented.

“Parents and children can set rules for screen use together, e.g. by establishing a screen time limit, banning internet use during meals or at bedtime and setting aside time for exercise and relationships to ensure balance in the child’s daily schedule. It is also worth checking domowezasadyekranowe.fdds.pl, a website which describes such rules (in Polish) and shows how to put them into practice,” Wojtasik recommends. He adds that parents should not take the easy way out. The internet and screens are alluring and absorb a child’s full attention. Parents might think this “solves” a problem by keeping the child occupied, but the FDDS expert believes this is a trap because children need to experience the offline world and relationships with other people to enjoy well-balanced growth.

Cyberbullying affects children

Apart from problematic internet use, children and young people are also affected by cyberbullying. “Even the youngest children use social media, where a lot of interaction takes place: people make assessments, leave comments and share content. Social media are intended for users over the age of 13 and it is important to respect this age limit. In practice, however, the vast majority of children below this threshold already have profiles in these media,” notes Wojtasik. He explains that schools and parents have an important role to play: they need to talk to kids about interpersonal relationships, acceptable and unacceptable ways of treating others, distinguishing constructive criticism from derision and hate speech. It is necessary to teach kids that violence is unacceptable and, on the other hand, model alternative forms of communication.

According to a study on teenagers conducted by NASK (Nastolatki 3.0), one in five pupils has experienced cyberbullying, usually in the form of name-calling (30%), ridicule (23%) or humiliation (22%). “It is a good idea to compare these data with parental awareness: nearly 75% of them believe that their children have not experienced cyberbullying,” says Różycka.

However, the problem of online violence also has a broader context. Professor Jacek Pyżalski from the Faculty of Educational Studies of the Adam Mickiewicz University in Poznań, who has been researching online aggression and cyberbullying for many years, points out that the internet functioned somewhat differently 15 years ago. Everybody focused mainly on peer violence and aggression, i.e. things that happened between kids in the same class or school.

“Researchers continue to study the phenomenon of peer cyberbullying, which is very strongly linked to real-life violence, e.g. at school, such as bullying, peer exclusion or hitting. On the other hand, it is quite clear that online violence has spread to other contexts over the last 15 years. It happens in public and does not only take place between peers. Instead, as is the case with hate speech, it may affect specific groups of people. Users might enter a forum or specific social medium to insult religious groups, nationalities or groups of people with particular beliefs,” explains Prof. Pyżalski.

However, as he points out, many years of research have shown that only a minority of kids engage as perpetrators in online violence. “The latest edition of the EU Kids Online survey for Poland, held in 2019, shows that only 6% of young people use hate speech against others. Of course, they can also become victims because any young person who belongs to a specific bullied group can feel attacked,” says J. Pyżalski.

Even some online movie series include violent content. “Recently, many discussions have been devoted to Squid Game, a series which is popular with children, even though it is violent and certainly not appropriate for this age group. The internet is also a source of inappropriate role models, e.g. influencers or YouTubers watched by children who display negative behaviour. Negative content may model harmful behaviours for the future,” warns Wojtasik.

Get interested in your child’s online world

What can adults do to counteract the threats facing young users in the virtual world? A lot depends on the type of threat and the child’s age, but conversation is always the most crucial tool in a parent’s toolbox.

“In the vast majority of cases, children who experience threatening situations online do not tell adults about them. They are left alone with the problem because they are afraid of criticism or punishment and do not expect to be helped. This is why talking to kids is so important,” emphasises Łukasz Wojtasik. “If communication is good, it is much easier for parents to notice when something bad is happening in their child’s life and, on the other hand, the child is more likely to seek support,” he stresses.

Martyna Różycka offers similar tips for parents. The most important thing is to build a good relationship between the child and the parent or caregiver. This will help to give the young person a sense of security, delineate safe boundaries and react in dangerous situations. “We need to talk with kids about the internet, about online content, and about strangers who may have bad intentions. Kids might grumble and protest, but they need rules,” the expert says.

Różycka also warns against leaving teenagers to their own devices. “Sometimes parents think that their teen is very independent and has an excellent grasp of technology. While this may be true, we need to remember that kids do not have enough life experience or the ability to recognise false information such as marketing content, conspiracy theories or distorted images of reality. We need to talk to our kids all the time and remain curious about their world because our help might be needed,” Różycka emphasises. She recommends that parents encourage their children to share the names of their favourite online authors, gaming statistics or the online content they post. This can be a valuable lesson for caregivers.

Wojtasik points out that parents of younger children need to control the type of content that their children have access to, which means that parents need to supervise their children while online or use parental control software or applications to block harmful content. “Children also need explanations about the world that surrounds them, and since a lot of this world involves online images, parents and schools have an important role in teaching kids how to assess content critically and tell the difference between positive and negative messages,” she emphasises. ©℗